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Responding to hardship with non-acceptance and anger only makes matters worse. By destroying the merit, or positive potential, in our mind, anger makes it very difficult to fulfil our wishes; and by causing us to engage in negative actions, it sows the seeds for greater suffering in the future. In short, anger destroys our present peace and happiness, robs us of our future happiness, and ensures that we suffer in life after life.
Geshe Kelsang Gyatso ~ How to Solve Our Human Problems (via dharma-thoughts)

Not focusing on others’ faults doesn’t mean that we never recognize they have delusions (uncontrolled, unpeaceful minds) or develop the wish to help them overcome these – our mistake is conflating the person with the delusions. As my teacher says:

It is because they distinguish between delusions and persons that Buddhas are able to see the faults of delusions without ever seeing a single fault in any living being. Consequently, their love and compassion for living beings never diminish. ~ Transform Your Life, p 131

At 8am this morning, as I was peacefully absorbed in meditation, someone honked their horn very loudly. There was a pause, then they did it again. Another pause, and then a loud banging at my door.

I open it in my dressing gown, and a (watch this instant prejudice…) brash looking man in a shiny suit and slicked-back hair abruptly demands: “I’m here to pick up Yvonne.” I say I don’t know Yvonne. “She’s a laaaarge girl”, he offers, with (un)helpful hand gestures. My Simone de Beauvoir instincts kick in: “Do you mean a large girl or a large woman? In any event I don’t know any large or small women or girls by that name around here. And might I suggest that you don’t blow your horn so loudly…” (adding silently “…you’re not the only human being around here you know!” and then “Oh, my cat has got out…” (adding silently “…because of you.”)

So as you can see from my responses, an irritation had arisen. Great fodder for meditation! Excellent timing for my morning session! Mr. Honk only appears irritating to me due to karma I’ve created in the past and is a reflection of my own faults of thoughtlessness and self-cherishing.

From the article Mirror, mirror, at the door.


…we become unhappy and angry is because we are faced with a situation we do not want or like. Every day we encounter hundreds of situations we do not like, from stubbing our toe or having a disagreement with our partner, to discover our house has burnt down or that we have…

The Faults of Anger

Anger is one of the most common and destructive delusions, and it afflicts our mind almost every day. To solve the problem of anger, we first need to recognize the anger within our mind, acknowledge how it harms both ourself and others, and appreciate the benefits of being patient in the face of difficulties. We then need to apply practical methods in our daily life to reduce our anger and finally to prevent it from arising at all.

~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso - How to Solve our Human Problems

Anger is unsuitable…


“Anger is unsuitable because it is unnecessary and very faulty If someone harms us and we become angry, our anger cannot undo the harm that was done. Although it may seem that anger is justified and that it yields some satisfaction, if we check closely we shall see that there is never any point in getting angry.”
— Geshe Kelsang Gyatso - “Ocean of Nectar”


The second of the root delusions is anger. Desirous attachment may be the most difficult delusion to remove our minds, but anger is the most destructive and painful. The definition of anger is a mental factor that observes an animate or inanimate object, feels it to be unattractive, exaggerates…

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
Buddha (via lazyyogi)